Some Times He Calms the Storm. This has been a very powerful song in my life. Right now I am finding myself walking through my own storm again. This time it's on 2 fronts.
Sara and I have been at each other lately. She has been running on the edge for a while and she finally has slipped. Sara is very different person than I am. This is obvious for most people who know us. I am a go go go person. I can run on nothing for a lot longer than she can. She is not an incredibly social person either. I love to be on the go and doing stuff and she needs her quiet time to regroup. We decided today to no longer have life groups at our house for the time being. We just need a break.
We having been running full throttle for over 2 years with Journey and occasionally I need reminding that we need rest also.
I called my mom today to ask for prayer today. She dropped the bomb on me that my sister is pregnant and she and her boyfriend are moving back to Minnesota. This makes me go postal. I don't know what to do. My parents sometimes look to me for help and advise. We are having a family meeting tonight to talk about it. My sister is looking for my parents to support her and her bad decisions. I'm afraid that if they take her in, they will not be happy and I will not be able to see them again. Now I am sure someone is reading this and calling me a hypocrite. I can see that. Perhaps i am. Here's the thing though. My sister moved to Florida to be with her boyfriend after meeting him once. She came back and told my parents she was moving and getting married. If my parents take her back with her new muffin in the oven and her boyfriend, they will just be leached off of until she moves on to a new thing. I know also this is not my problem.
If they do accept her back I will just have to distance myself from my parents. I can not look at my sister with any care anymore.
She has always been this way. It's always been about her. She found out when she was younger that she could get attention by saying I raped her. So I had to be grilled by social services and got rejected by my pastor and everyone else that was important to me at that time. She talked to people about that that she knew were important to me just to spite me. It goes on and on from there all the things she has done.
I will beg that anyone who reads this prays for my family. Please pray for my mom and dad, (Ted and Jane) and my brother (Jon). My brother is going to go freaking postal when he finds out. Please also pray for my smaller family (Sara and I). With all eyes on us, there is a lot of pressure.
1 comment:
Hey Bill,
I will pray for you buddy. I know it must be hard to run full throttle like you said. It is a wise decision to take it easy for a while. If not for you then for Sara.
As far as the bomb goes with your sister. All i have to say is WOWSER. We all have one in the family don't we. In my family it is my brother Junior. Exact same situation just add my brothers name to your sisters. You are right when you think that your family will be distanced now from you if she comes back to MN and from the looks of it your parents may very well be fitting the bill.
My only advice to you my friend is, let go of the hate. I was angry when Junior had Devon. His choices made my family even more dysfunctional and made it to where they became even more distant from me than normal. I don't get calls unless its about another controversy. When she does come back to MN and the bun is in the oven. I hope you do this. Be the best brother you can be to her. When the baby arrives, be the best uncle you can be. Be the best example of what man can be so that one day that child can look up and say that I at least knew someone in my life that was good to me.
Your family will be good to the child I have no doubts about that. Yet now if you want to be a part of your parents lufe you must now enter it through your sisters child. It is not a bad thing, it is a difficult thing. Who benefits, ALL do.
I hope things work out for the best my friend. Marriage is hard and so is family. There is no easy way around these things. I will pray for you my friend. I love both you and Sara and want the very best for you both.
You know where I work my friend. If you ever just need to chill out call me up. I will do my very best to help you. God Bless
-James Flores
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